We held Teagan's funeral service on September 3rd, 2011. We brought her back home and buried her in Mountain View Cemetery in Pocatello, Idaho. It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon and so many friends and family joined us in remembering Teagan's precious life. I will always be grateful to them and the love I felt from them on that day. My dad conducted the service, cousins and an uncle on Jared's side sang an amazing arrangement of Be Still My Soul. Jared's dad gave a wonderful talk and Jared dedicated the grave. Afterwards, we had a balloon release and wrote messages on notecards to send up with the balloons.
I had to make it perfect for Teagan. There are so many things I wish I was doing for her instead, and I was left with only this to do for her. No scraped knees, no first day of school, no birthdays, no proms, no boyfriends, no wedding... so many things that won't happen. I had to make this one thing for her perfect. I was glad it turned out so well.
It is difficult to describe all the emotions of that day. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Everything about it seemed wrong, a mother should not have to bury her child or have her 5 year old ask if she had a funeral when she was a baby. I have to keep remembering that I am only seeing a little bit of the picture and Heavenly Father has a plan that I am not able to understand right now. I continue to rely on faith that this is not the end.
