Blankets and Frosties

Sometimes it is hard to remember that I am not the only one grieving in this house. It is easy to get wrapped up in my own emotions. I was very attentive to their needs right after Teagan died, but children can only handle these emotions for short periods of time before they have to take a break from them. But just because they take a break from them, it doesn't mean that they are "over it". These emotions, feelings and questions they have are just as valid and just as important as mine, and need to be recorded on our blog also.

Many people would think a three year old wouldn't understand much. This is a very incorrect assumption. Tatum understands it in a very simple matter of fact way. He does get sad when we discuss Teagan and says he misses her. Both of my children would talk, hug and kiss my belly everyday and they miss that she is no longer there. For a long time he would ask about every baby he saw. He would say, "Does that baby work?" Sometimes followed by a "Teagan doesn't work". I was able to over hear a conversation with one of his nursery friends on Sunday, when he explain in a matter of fact way, that his baby sister died. This is his 3 yr old way of working out his feelings.

Bentli was very hurt by the loss of Teagan. She had been looking forward to having a baby sister since she was three years old. She is still mourning the loss and has many questions about death. She tells many, friends and strangers about Teagan's story. Others need to know about her love for her baby sister that is not here. We will often have 'Teagan talks', when we both share something we were looking forward to doing with her. Bentli's favorites are being able to wrap Teagan in her yellow blanket (for those who know Bentli and her blanket, know how significant this is). And she wanted to feed Teagan a frosty (from Wendy's), another of Bentli's favorite things. Bentli is a very perceptive person and is always first to notice and give me a hug during hard times.

I am so grateful for all three of my children and how each of them have added so much to my life. I pray I can be the mother that they need and deserve.