Teagan's Poem

Its been awhile since I have posted. I haven't known what to post. It's not that things haven't been happening, but I have had a lot of different feelings. I am at a point right now, that anytime I have a minute to think or blog, I think about Teagan and about my grief. I have been reluctant to share all the emotions of grief. I shared more that first month after Teagan died and then the second month hit and the pain hit a whole new level. The anger, pain, and anguish of grief is ugly. And here I am, beginning the third month since Teagan left, its not that the grief has gotten easier, the emotions still hit me like a run away train, but I have been inspired by another mother to share some of my thoughts.

This is a poem I wrote for Teagan. I wrote it just before her funeral.

Aching Arms

I have aching arms,
Arms meant to hold you,
Hands meant to comfort you,
And lips meant to kiss you.

God gave you to me
For just a short while.
Too short to fully show
How much you mean to me.

For reasons unknown,
God took you back home.
I'm left her confused,
My heart still rebelling.

Too pure, too perfect
to stay here with us
And God has promised me
We will again reunite.

I remain with empty arms,
A heart forever touched.
But God has changed my arms
From aching arms to waiting arms.

---Jennie Spicer