Bentli and I were walking through Target and were passing by the Infant and Toddler section of the store. The bright red clearance racks were calling me over to look through them for clothes for Tate. Unthinking I made the turn to head over to the racks. I was stopped in my tracks by adorable 0-3 month Christmas dresses. A gold satin dress with a black lace overlay. I clenched my jaw as I choked back the lump in my throat and tears burned my eyes. My heart sank as my reality hit me. I want to be checking the price tag and looking for matching tights and shoes. I want to be juggling the car seat and a ridiculously over-packed diaper bag.
I took a deep... shaky breath and turned around. I need to hold it together. I don't need the clearance rack that bad. Bentli and I went on to the toy section so she could pick out a Christmas present for her brother. I wish I was bringing Teagan home from the hospital. My mind knows that she is fulfilling Heavenly Father's plan for her. My heart knows she is happy and with us often. But I miss her... so much.
5 comments:
Oh, that's so hard...all of those little reminders must be the worst! Especially when it catches you off guard. xoxo
So so sorry! That is so tough. Big hugs from Texas!
Oh Jennie, my heart aches for you. We're still praying for you!
I have been feeling the same things lately. I have always heard the holidays are hard...TRUE! You are in my thought and prayers!
I know how that feels :( This time of year is a tough one. Thinking of you <3
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